LOVING...

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


If thou must love me... (Sonnet 14)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,
"I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

Glaucoma Suspect

On Nov 29 2011, I became a glaucoma suspect. There is no history of glaucoma in my family, no diabetes, no myopia, no high blood, no regular use of corticosteroids yet I am now someone with one or more risk factors that may lead to glaucoma including increasing intraocular pressure even though I may not yet have definite optic nerve damage or vision loss due to glaucoma. I have since been to see another ophthalmologist who wanted to make a more accurate diagnosis other than the applanation tonometry she gave me.

My situation now is depressing. Even though I need to see my doctor, the visit would always bring a feeling of dread of what the diagnosis would be. Last Thursday, I went through three procedures - perimetry, disc photo and pachymetry. I have to schedule my next visit to my doctor so she can see the results of the procedures.

As I write this, I am having an asthma attack. I have taken my medication. My asthma must have been caused not only by extreme weather conditions but also because of concerns about my eye. My attacks started last Thursday morning.

I have to keep myself busy or think of other things to keep from crying or wallowing in self-pity. God has his reasons for all of these.